Happy Mother's Day

As much as I love making a big deal out of other people's special days (birthdays, anniversaries, etc) I really don't enjoy being the center of attention myself. So when days like Mother's Day roll around, I'm perfectly happy to ignore it and have just a regular day.

That's sort of what I did today.

We went to church, then out for lunch, which is a normal Sunday for us (now that basketball season is finally over). Today we waited a really, really long time for our food. We were all getting a bit ancy, but Morgan just gave up. I couldn't resist getting some video of her falling asleep in her high chair, in the middle of a very loud restaurant!

Once we finally got our food, Morgan got a good nap, and we got home, Brad gave me the best Mother's Day gift ever - he took Jake, Lizzy and Morgan over to Sheena and Jesse's to do yard work. Lexi stayed home to do homework. I got to work cleaning and redecorating the little girls' room.

I know this sounds terrible, but having a few hours to myself really was the best gift my husband and kids could give me.

Moms, you know what I mean.

It's not that I don't love my family, it's just that once in awhile, I really, really, really need a break from them.

I've been working on redecorating the little girls' room for weeks. I also wanted to go through their dressers and toys, and get the room somewhat organized. There's no way I can do those things when they're around.

Finally having time to do that project was totally gratifying. Their room looks great. And those few hours of cleaning helped me regroup, and recharge.

Good thing, because later, the big kids begged me to take them to Target to spend the rest of their birthday money. I usually hate shopping with my kids, but this shopping trip was actually really fun. Lexi and Jake were hyper and funny and sweet and I loved every minute with them.

When we got home, I rocked both little girls to sleep and had another hour to myself to finish up some projects.

So while it wasn't the most glamorous Mother's Day ever, it was exactly what this mom needed.

Alone

I went to the grocery store tonight. Alone.

This is significant for two reasons: the fact that I went to the grocery store is pretty amazing. The kids are going to be so excited when they look in the fridge tomorrow. The cupboards and fridge have been pretty bare lately. I've been too busy to shop, so I've just been buying a few things here and there. Tonight, my grocery cart was overflowing. I should probably wake them up a little early so they have time to soak it all in and make a good breakfast choice.

This is also significant because I went alone.

I don't go anywhere alone. I've always got at least one "helper".

But not tonight. I waited until all the "helpers" were in bed, then I went to the store.

It was awesome.

The fact that I think a trip to the grocery store at 10:00 at night is awesome is pretty sad. I should probably get out more.

Still, I can't deny it. Pushing my cart up and down the nearly empty aisles, with no one whining or begging for treats, was pretty amazing. I didn't utter a word the whole hour I was shopping. It was fabulous (and I like to talk).

I smiled the whole drive home, and even while I put $218 worth of groceries away.

I smiled because I can finally cook some decent meals.

I smiled because the house was quiet.

I even smiled as I made sandwiches for Jake's and Brad's lunches tomorrow.

Then it hit me.

I was smiling because I finally had some "Jody time". It was exactly what I needed. And as I finished packing the boys' lunches I realized "Jody time" doesn't have to be a whole afternoon to myself. It can be an hour at the grocery store, 30 minutes on the treadmill, an hour to watch what I want to watch on tv.

So while it cost me $218 in groceries, I learned a very important lesson on my late night grocery run.

The lesson: make time for yourself. You're not a bad mom if you need a break from your kids. You're simply human. Taking a break is as good for your kids as it is for you.

And, as an added bonus, this time my kids will have some seriously good breakfasts the next few days. Which means, I might get a little extra "me time" . They'll be too busy enjoying the new cereal to bug me!

Presence vs. Presents

Isn't it weird how sometimes you see something, and it's exactly what you needed?

That happened to me today.

This quote literally made me stop and think when I saw it:

"Children need your presence more than they need your presents."

How true.

And how appropriate for my life at this moment.

We are at the tail end of "birthday madness" at our house. Jake's birthday is Friday, and wraps up three weeks of birthdays. Lizzy and Lexi had great days, and I intend to make Jake's birthday equally special.

But to be honest, I'm birthday-ed out. And so is my checkbook. Throw in an emergency van repair, a couple of home improvement projects, and  a trip to Hawaii, and we are broke.

Still, for Jake's sake, I am doing my very best to get excited about his birthday, and to spend just as much money on him as I did on the girls.  Birthdays are a big deal. It's the one day a year they get to be the center of attention, and I feel they need to be spoiled a little bit.

But my new favorite quote has me rethinking that.

"Children need your presence more than they need your presents."

It is exactly why, nearly two years ago, I cut back from full-time to part-time at work. Even in my new job, I'm still working just 20 hours a week. The time I have had with my kids since cutting back has been amazing. The trips to the park, the afternoon snuggles, even the driving to and from practice have given me the "mom" moments I will treasure forever.

And even though my paycheck and the "presents" are smaller, I like to think my "presence" has made a difference in my kids lives.

Sometimes I just need to be reminded of that.

And today, the message came through, loud and clear:

"Children need your presence more than they need your presents."

With that in mind, the little girls and I have a date with the sandbox tomorrow afternoon. I can't wait.

A Day Off

It's 11:36 pm and everyone is finally asleep.

The silence is golden.

It's been a day.

There was no school today and Jake had a dentist appointment too, so it seemed like a good idea to take the whole day off.

As I think about today, I'm thinking I should have just gone to work.

It would have been easier.

The day began with tears and angry words between Lexi and me. That was strange, because she is usually so easy to get along with. She didn't want to babysit the little girls while I took Jake to the dentist. I didn't want to take the little girls to the dentist and try to make them behave for an hour. Lexi was so adamant about not watching them, I angrily put them into the van and left without even saying good bye. They must have sensed my anger, because they were suprisingly well-behaved at the dentist. And so was Jake. Lexi and I both calmed down, and were back to normal by the time I got home.

The thing is, I know exactly where she's coming from. She's like the second mom to the little girls. It's exhausting and it's not fair. None of her friends have to babysit their little brothers or sisters. I probably take advantage of her. I promised her I would work on that, and she promised me she wouldn't act like a spoiled brat ever again.

Onto the next frustration of the day. While we were waiting in the dentist's office, I noticed something in the hood of Jake's new Duke sweatshirt. Upon closer examination, I realized he had written his name in the hood of his sweatshirt. Where it could be seen. In permament marker. I was so mad. He did the same thing to his new Duke t-shirt yesterday... wrote his name in permament marker on the back of his shirt. He explained that he didn't want to lose either, and the tags weren't big enough to write on. To him, it made perfect sense. To me, he ruined two brand new pieces of clothing. But, after he promised never to do that again, I am over it. As a friend pointed out, at least it's not a tattoo. Although I'm sure that's coming.

Frustration number three..... Morgan. She is just at a really tough age. Her naps are getting shorter, which leaves more time for mischief. Today, she swallowed a penny. Lexi, Tess and Jake all noticed she put a penny in her mouth at the same time. We all scrambled to get the penny out of her mouth, but during that chaos, she swallowed it. I immediately called our doctor and texted my two best nurse friends. They all assured me it will pass. Gross. But if it doesn't pass in a few days, we should probably go in. I can't believe this has never happened before. She is fine, but I was totally freaked out. Now I'm just hoping it comes out a nickel, or even a quarter. I could use some extra money.

And then there is Lizzy. Poor, poor Lizzy who obviously doesn't get enough attention. For the past several weeks Brad and I have thought her room smelled like urine. I washed her bedding, Morgan's bedding, put an air freshener in there, and searched for dirty laundry. It still smelled. Tonight, Brad discovered why. He caught Lizzy squatting between her bed and her book shelf, naked, peeing. She ruined a board game, a magic wand, and a stuffed animal. We had to move her bed out of her room so I could scrub the carpet. The good news is we know we weren't losing it... her room really did smell like pee. The bad news is, this is totally not acceptable behavior.

Just so you know, these events are just the highlights, a few of the reasons I wished I was at work today. I could complain for hours, but I read once that constant complaining shortens your life expectancy. I don't want to risk it. You see, I need to live long enough to see my children become parents.... because paybacks are a bitch. That said, I'm sorry Mom and Dad!

Birthday Madness

April means one thing in our house: let the birthday madness begin!

• Lizzy turns four on April 15.
• Lexi turns 12 on April 19.
• Jake turns 10 on May 6.

It's enough to drive a mom crazy. Every year, I wonder how I'll make each day special, when there are so many "special" days so close together. I am already tired of cake, and we haven't even begun.

But then, every year, just as I start worrying about the financial effects of this birthday madness, my kids surprise me. This year it was Jake. He sat down to write his birthday wish list last night. A sign of the times, he emailed it to everyone in his contact list. I giggled at the first few items, but the last one nearly made me cry, because as much "stuff" as he wants, I'm so proud that he also already realizes that there are some things that are more important than any thing money can buy:

Hi everyone, it's me Jake I'm just gonna tell you my birthday list(not in order of importance).

1. LEGOs!
2. video games
3. inside basketball
4. viking stuff(NOT bronco colors grandpa)
5. money
6. family, YOUR ALL INVITED

From,
Jake

Jitters

It's been years since I had any first day of work jitters.

Almost 14 years, to be exact.

But tonight, my stomach is in a knot. My mind is racing.

     "Did I make the right decision?"

     "Will I like this new job?"

     "Will I be any good at this new job?"

It's weird. I've been ready for this day for more than a month, yet it feels like it came out of nowhere. So many times today I caught myself thinking about what story I was going to do tomorrow. I even panicked for a moment when I realized I didn't have anything lined up. And I even thought about making some banana bread to take to work tomorrow.

Then I realized work is now a completely different place, doing a completely different job, working with completely different people.

That's when I freaked out a little.

Just a little.

I'm good now and ready, excited actually, to begin this new adventure. Change is good. It's sometimes easier to stay in a "comfortable" routine, rather than make a change that might actually be just what you've been looking for.

So, to those first day jitters, I say "get lost".

And to this new chapter in my life, this new adventure, these new challenges, I say: "Bring it on."

Vacation Hangover

"No man needs a vacation so much as the person who just had one."

~ Elbert Hubbard

Truer words have never been spoken.

I've never really had a vacation hangover before. Maybe because I've never really had a real vacation before.

Don't get me wrong. I've had vacations --- the family trips to the Mall of America, camping with the kids in the Black Hills, the Medora Musical. But those don't really count. I'm talking about a real vacation. A vacation without kids.

Brad and I finally had one of those, real vacations.

 

We spend ten days in Hawaii. It was awesome. Sun, relaxation, history, culture, good food. We even rented a Harley to explore the island of Maui. It was everything a vacation should be.

But ten days was a little too long.

I missed my kids like crazy.

Then there was the tsunami. I seriously hope I never experience another tsunami.

Now, it's back to reality.

As happy as I was to see the kids, I secretly kind of wished I'd have a day to catch up on sleep and unwind before diving back into motherhood.

That didn't happen.

I immediately jumped back into the "mom" duties of cooking, washing dishes, doing laundry, giving baths and getting the kids to bed.

I did all this on about three hours of sleep (the time I slept on the airplane doesn't count... that was too uncomfortable to be considered real sleep).

It's good to be home. Vacation was great, a once-in-a-lifetime experience. But home is even better. I love the routine, the normalcy, and the hugs from my four favorite kiddos.

Still, I can't help wishing I could take a vacation to recover from my vacation...and to ease back into the routine that is my life....