From The Mouths of Babes

Remember the tv show "Kids Say the Darndest Things". It was a popular comedy show hosted by Bill Cosby from 1998 to 2000. Cosby's show was based on a popular feature of Art Linkletter's television series,"Art Linkletter's House Party". In both shows, the host asked kids, usually between the ages of 3 and 8, questions. Their answers were always funny, and oh so honest.

I've discovered I have my own version of that popular tv show right in my own home. Every single day I hear the most amazing, and most hilarious, things. Most of the time, it's from Lizzy and Jake, my two with the most personality. Some of the things that come out of their mouths are simply too funny not to share. Here's a sampling from just the past couple of days:

Me: Jake, it's St. Patrick's day, don't you want to wear something green?
Jake: Nope.
Me: You might get pinched.
Jake: I know. That's my plan.
For the record, everyone in Jake's class pinched him, even the girls. Although he will never admit it, he liked it.

Me: Lizzy, your shirt is on backwards.
Lizzy: My know. My like it like this.
Conversation over. The shirt stayed backwards all day.

I was frantically searching for a check I needed to deposit in the bank. I couldn't find it, and quietly mumbled "dammit", completely forgetting Lizzy was with me, and that little ears hear everything. I was quickly reminded when Lizzy loudly asked "Why you say dammit, Mom?". I wanted to laugh and I wanted to swear again. Instead I gave the obligatory speech about not saying naughty words.

Speaking of naughty words, that same night at supper I made a comment about something being "shot". Jake instantly questioned me, but instead of saying "shot", he said "shit". He didn't even realize what he had said until Lexi and I gave him "the look". His face turned bright red, and he apologized for the rest of the night.

Lizzy is on a dress kick. She wears dresses and tights every day, no matter the temperature and no matter if they match. Today she wore last year's Easter dress, tights and sparkly shoes to the grocery store. A lady commented that she looked like she was ready for Easter. Without missing a beat, Lizzy replied "Nope, my ready for summer time." Aren't we all.

Me: Lizzy, tell me a story.
Lizzy: Once upon a time, Swiper the Fox farted in Princess Lizzy's face. The end.
Me: Um, that's a good story. Can you tell me another one?
Lizzy: Nope, all my words already came out of my mouth.

There are more. I could be here all night if I wrote down every funny thing my kids say. I love that they have so much to say and that they are able to express their thoughts. I'd love to get inside their heads and find out what they're not saying. Or maybe it's best I don't know everything they think. What I do know for sure, is there's no way Lizzy will ever run out of words. She's got a lot to say, and I love hearing all of it.