Most days, I think I'm a pretty good mom.
Then, there are days like today.
Today, I'm pretty sure I'm the world's worst mom.
I can't but wonder what happened to all the good things I've taught my kids.
Today, I saw none of the good.
But I saw lots of bad.
Terrible behaviors. The kicker - it was the big kids acting so awful. I kind of expect it from the toddler and the preschooler. Not from the 10 year old and the 12 year old. Not from my "easy" first born.
But that's the thing about motherhood.
It's a tough job.
The toughest there is, if you ask me.
And just when you think you've got it mastered, bam. They hit you when you're least expecting it, with the most unexpected behaviors.
I lost my cool.
For that, I am sorry.
No mother should yell at her children, but sometimes it just happens.
And on this day, it may just have been for the best.
After my meltdown, everyone was suddenly very sorry for how they had acted, for what they had said, and how they had treated each other.
I'm just sorry that so much of our day was wasted with fighting.
I know it's just one day.
But that's kind of the point - everyday should count.
We should live everyday like it's our last.
Everyday should have a "good part".
Today, there were very few good parts.
But, as I write this, I realize there may have been more good than I originally thought: we're all healthy, the cupboards are full, the bills are paid, and we have each other.
Life is good.
Tomorrow is a new day - and I am confident it will be a good day.
Because no one deserves two "bad mom days" in a row....