Monday, August 22, 2011

Birth Order of Children

A co-worker of mine gave this to me. It's hilarious, and so true.... but I can't help but wonder... what about baby number four?? Forgotten, again? Poor Morgan :(
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

1st baby: At the first sign of distress -- a whimper, a frown -- you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

1st baby: You change your baby's diaper every hour, whether she needs it or not.
2nd baby: You change your baby's diaper every two or three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change her diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to her knees.

1st baby: You take your baby to baby gymnastics, baby swing and baby story hour.
2nd baby: You take your baby to bab gymnastic.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarkert and the dry cleaner.

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby:  You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

1st baby:  You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

1st baby: When first child swallows a coin, you rush her to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd baby: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd baby: When the third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from her allowance.
***It is worth noting that none of my first three children swallowed a coin... Morgan holds that claim to fame. And I have to admit, I kind wished the penny she swallowed would have come out a quarter! Paying for four kids gets expensive! :)

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